Chocolate-Only Diet: Day 5

I woke feeling a touch queasy, same as I’d felt from the evening before. But it passed amidst a flurry of household chores, which included baking a dozen choc-caramel muffins.

Fresh from the oven, Part Deux: Choc Caramel Muffins
Fresh from the oven, part deux: Choc Caramel Muffins

Having now baked on three of the last four days, I’m feeling a bit 1950s housewife. The Hoover salesman came to the door today, and I’ve left the brochure lying around so hubby might come across it. It’s the new model, much better than what Gladys across the street got for her last birthday. Her husband Jack only works in accounts, so if she has one then we certainly can. I’ll bring it up on Saturday night on the way to the drive-in, when I’m wearing that dress that hubby so likes. Oh but if I haven’t pleased him then he won’t take me out. I better bake a little more.

Oversized and gooey, in my world of twisted rules the muffins are now the sensible, healthy food, along with brownies and mud cake. There’s an impulse to make sure I’m eating enough of them, and not just the ‘junk food’ chocolate. Maybe we have an internal schema for diet, etched deeply in our brain during childhood, that must have foods in both its ‘proper’ and ‘naughty’ categories. And this schema overlays itself on whatever our diet happens to be at the time. That, or maybe choc caramel muffins really are healthy compared to the rest of my diet.

Dinnertime was the reckoning I knew would come eventually. Taco night for the household. But not for me. I’ll save myself from typing a thousand words of woe and instead refer you to the picture below.

Taco Night. Here's how I felt about missing my favourite food.
Taco Night. Here’s how I felt about missing my favourite food.

After dinner it was showtime. Because alcohol isn’t chocolate [citation needed], I haven’t had a drink for at least five days. So we moved furniture, adjusted lighting, practised lines, and visited wardrobe in order to produce a video on how to make chocolate-flavoured vodka. Moderate your expectations: compared to acting, pimpin’ actually is easy.

Daily Kilojoules, Day 5

 TargetConsumed% of Daily Target Consumed

Food Diary, Day 5

BreakfastChocolate milk; Mocha; GF Chocolate mud cake; Dream white chocolate (1 row); M&Ms; Chocolate mint creme; Caramello block (1 row); fun-size Flake, Boost.
LunchTim Tam; Chocolate muffin; Chocolate milk; Mocha; fun-sized Salted Caramel, Picnic (2), Snickers.
SnacksChoc caramel muffin; Tim Tam(2); Chocolate milk.
DinnerTim Tam; Choc Mint Creme biscuit; Chocolate milk; Caramello block (1.5 rows)
DessertChocolate bavarian

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